Every word I'm about to copy and paste later on into this blog has been something I've been struggling to realize for the past two years. I'm human, therefore I put myself first and pretty much think I deserve things. My best friend Allison was sharing with me recently how she was recognizing the fact that we don't deserve ANYTHING. We don't as mankind have something that makes us better than anyone else, and we as individuals shouldn't just expect that we as a human right deserve something. Relationships, schooling, a well paying job, a nice car, a big house, etc. That really isn't my point, but this is. I think deep down inside I thought I deserved to be at Taylor. When it was taken away from me I experienced pain I never thought possible as a result of transferring schools. Hello dramatic. Yet, it felt like God was breaking my heart, to bring me closer to Him and to a place where He could better use me in ministry. Hello difficult. Yet, it took me forever to be okay with the fact that I was at home and not at Taylor where I thought I deserved to be. Hello stubborn daughter of God.
In January while Passion was going on, I was sitting at home listening to the podcasts. Beth Moore spoke and the words God gave her literally, broke me down. It was like all the pain I had experienced was flooding back in, waiting for me to finally recognize as beautiful. Beth kept saying this phrase over and over,
"He may equip you with everything good for doing his will."She took the word "equip" and gave us some of the original meanings/translations of the word that looked something like this: God equips us by preparing us, adjusting us, repairing us, and filling us. Because I'm lazy at the moment, here are some key points.
-We're here on Earth to do some good and Glorify God.
-The world needs to be benefited by our existence.
-No matter what your family was like, it has led to your life and what you do with it.
-Let nothing you've learned be wasted.
-God uses EVERYTHING to equip us. (Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.)
-If it was permitted to happen to you, it has given you a way to minister.
-Don't ask God "why did this happen?". Trust that in time He will reveal the answers.
-God is bringing us through things and to different places in life to finish things in us.
-Situations shape us.
-The people God surrounds us with can influence us to love those we cannot like.
-You go into new situations to continually change more into one like Christ.
-You may not feel like you fit but maybe it's flat out fitting that God has you there. (I loved her phrasing on this)
-Whenever, wherever God leads, you follow. It might keep changing.
-God calls you to FOLLOW HIM.
-Whatever God has called you to do or be-you cannot do on your own-only Christ through you can be what God has called you to do or be.
-Everyday give yourself to God-ask to be overtaken by the spirit.
-"There ain't no high like the most high."
-Quit trying to run in someone else's lane. Run your own race and be who God has called you alone to be. Don't look at others and want the ministry they have or the life they have. Follow God in the path he has set out for you alone.
Hebrews 13:20-21 (New International Version)
May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
The things she said were so amazing. I know for sure God spoke through her to me, and to so many other people. This next part is from a devotional my mom sent me. She handed it to me the other night and just said this, "I read this and parts of it made me think of you and all the pain you suffered after moving home." I was thinking...oh goodness what is it. Then I read it and it reminded me of what Beth said and how quickly I had forgotten it...so here this next part is. This pain can be about anything...and trust me. God knows your heart, He made it.
"2 Corinthians 12:10 MSG "Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."
God is not wasting the pain in your life. He never wastes a wound. He’s healing you at this very moment and using that pain to show you a dream bigger than you realize. But you need to trust Him. When you trust, you allow room for hope.
When we are in the deep, deep valley we must hold on to the assurance that God stands firm and strong behind us. Nothing we experience will be wasted. It will all be used for our good—to make us stronger, to make us walk closer to Him, to give us a more loving heart. In our greatest pain we need to lean greatly on God. He’s using our weakness to do His work in and through us, building trust, so that His dream for each of our lives can become a reality.
We rarely understand how God is using pain in our lives to refine us. Sometimes through the tears we can’t see anything, much less understand. But just because we don’t understand the pain doesn’t mean He’s not using it. He is. It’s part of His plan and purpose. Trust Him.
Prayer
Dear God. Some days I don’t know how I will get through the day with the pain and hurt I have to face. Let me feel your presence, Lord, to trust and relax. Let me fall into your everlasting arms, giving you control as I feel your strength. Amen."
