I can clearly remember pulling my practicum handbook out of my mailbox. I read my assignment for the semester and became extremely confused. First of all, I am an art major. Second of all, I was expecting to be placed in an office at Focus because I did not bring a car to FLI. (We were told we would be placed on site if we did not bring a car.) Third...well....I’m not an athlete. Wondering what my practicum assignment is? Fellowship of Christian Athletes. My initial reactions to my assignment were totally unfair. Out of my practicum has come some huge blessings as well as some let downs that have been great learning experiences.
One of the most interesting aspects of FCA is our Tuesday night leadership meetings. My practicum buddy, Cody, and I are surrounded by six really tall men who are extremely athletic. (First of all, Cody is awesome. And he has a car. Which is great because we’re forced to be friends because he has to drive us everywhere. We’d be friends even if there wasn’t forced time together though. Seriously he has fantastic character and is striving to live his life completely for Christ-which is a huge encouragement. Did I mention neither of us are athletes? So funny!) The other guys lead various huddles around the Colorado Springs area. At these meetings, I usually end up spending at least ten minutes in confusion as they talk about various aspects of football that I had no idea existed. Anyway-one night we were talking about faith and how when we really believe something, it has the potential of happening. Going around the circle, we all shared what we were believing that God was going to do. I shared that I still believed that God would somehow still provide the remaining $800 for my tuition at FLI. Then we went around and prayed for the person on our right about what they had shared. The man on my left started the prayer, but before he did, he turned to me and said, "Don't worry about the rest of the money. I want to cover it." I stared at him in shock. He started praying and I started bawling. Seriously you guys, to see God answer a prayer like that SO fast was amazing. It was such a huge blessing.
There have been other blessings, but the main thing has been just a huge learning and growing experience. Cody and I were placed at two different middle school huddles that meet in the mornings. On Tuesdays we go to Discovery Canyon at 7am, and on Fridays we head to Monument Academy at 6:45am. This has forced me to grow because middle school students have always scared me and I am NOT a morning person. None the less, it has been a good thing to be placed there.
This weekend I hit a huge spot of brokenness though. Cody and I planned a retreat for both groups and were super excited about it. We covered the night in prayer and got to a point where we knew we were going to have to go with the flow and just let God show up. Needless to say, we only had four students show up at the retreat. I was so thankful because eight of our classmates showed up to help or hangout, and the high school youth group of the church we were at, was having a game night. There were ten college students, about twenty high school students, and four middle school students. We were running around the church like crazy people playing Ghost in the Grave Yard, Sardines, and Dodgeball. That part was awesome. So many people having fun together. My broken moment came when I started feeling rejected by the middle school students. I was so frustrated because only four showed up. We had done so much planning and praying! This whole week I have feet extremely broken hearted and rejected, based on factors that had nothing to do with FCA. (God is breaking me in ways I did not expect this semester.) I literally broke down when I somehow tripped going up the stairs. Every feeling of rejection and confusion and brokenness overflowed into tears. My roommate let me cry with her and prayed with me. I suddenly became aware of God’s love for me, and no matter how I was feeling, He was holding me and had purpose for this week and whole night of not what I expected. My roommate, Janae, was talking to me about something God had showed her. When we are broken, God puts us back together in new ways that will be more glorifying Him. (Janae is planning on blogging about this later!) Throughout the night, Cody and my classmates were so encouraging. In that moment of weakness, I realized great things were going to come from my experience. I know that God is going to do something with the four students that came.
Even though I do not know what else is in store with FCA this semester, I am still excited for it. I know God gives us different experiences that will grow us closer to Him. In the middle of the lesson, it is so hard to just accept that. I love where God is taking me this semester. It has been completely unexpected and somewhat painful, but completely amazing and worth it.
