So you put a banana in your hair.

I'm only posting about this because I found it completely hilarious and I'm slightly embarrassed by it.

Sometimes when I need a break from homework or life in general-I do weird things. Today that weird thing was making a homemade moisturizing mask for my hair. I've made a couple in the past and they usually turn out okay-ish. Key word "ish." There was this honey and olive one that took forever and a day to rinse out. This time I opted for one with honey, olive oil, banana, egg, buttercream, and avocado. Well. We didn't have an avocado in the house so I used everything else. After mixing everything up I put the gunky mixture in my hair, wrapped it in saran wrap and waited.

Here's the embarrassing yet funny part. So I go to rinse it out. The banana is not rinsing out. Basically I was trying to rinse this mushed up banana out for twenty minutes. It was ridiculous. Everything else rinsed out. I even washed my hair twice.

That was a few hours ago.  I'm pretty sure there are still some tiny pieces of banana in there. My mom looked and it felt like a lice check for a second there. But after drying it and brushing it, I think I got most of it. But seriously. Who gets banana stuck in their hair.

At least my hair is super soft now.

Bucket List Updates!

My last entry me curious about this post from a few years ago.  Surprisingly-I can update it!

• Graduate with a Bachelor Degree
• Go back to the Czech Republic on a second mission trip
• Visit Greece & Italy
• Get a photograph published in a "coffee table" book 
• Get a photograph published in a magazine
• Live in a state I haven't lived in yet (I've lived in Texas, Oklahoma, Indiana and Illinois) [Aug-Dec 2010 I lived in Colorado!]
• Go legit camping [Nov 2010-Colorado]
• Go skiing in Colorado [December 2008]
• Take a cruise in the South America region
• Work at summer camp in Colorado
• Pet a giraffe
• Obtain a wedding planner certificate
• Photograph engagement shots for friends
• Photograph a friend's wedding
• Design a wedding invitation
• Take a train somewhere other than to downtown Chicago
• Pay off my student loans
• Visit Ireland
• Visit Australia
• Go scuba diving
• Go on a mission trip to a 3rd world country
• Work at summer camp [Kanakuk K-2 Summer 2008]
• Go to the Sears Tower [Summer 2009]
• Try snowboarding
• Successfully ski down a black/blue diamond mogul run in CO without stopping, sitting, or falling. It's gonna happen. [Winter 2010 in Colorado!!!]
• Give a friend a hair cut
• Learn how to drive manual [August 2009]
• Buy my own car
• Kayak on a legit river
• Experience Times Square on New Years Eve
• Find giraffe print fleece and make footie-pajamas
• Work in a coffee shop [Starbucks! Aug 2011-present]
• Read the Bible cover to cover
• Travel Route 66
• Go to the Grand Canyon
• Get my associates degree [december 2009]
• Go on a road trip with my sister [Minnesota August 2012]
• Go on a road trip with my best friend
• Have an upsidedown Christmas tree
• Visit the art museums in Chicago [2011 & 2012]

Colorado was good to me. :)

A Heart's Dream

I sat next to a lovely woman on my plane ride to Texas this past Thursday.  She was a strong believer and she was able to challenge and encourage me by asking various questions on the flight.  I feel blessed.  Something that stirred my heart was this question: what's on your bucket list.  I didn't really have an answer for her in that moment.  I know somewhere on this blog I've posted a bucket list of sorts, but I have honestly forgotten a lot of what was on it.  I'm pretty sure this is due to me being caught up in work, school, and daily life.  It's almost as if I've forgotten to dream.  I know we're not supposed to worry about tomorrow and we're supposed to be living in this day to glorify God, but isn't it okay to dream?

I've been pondering this for a couple days now.  I realized God had laid some BIG dreams on my heart when I was in Colorado.  Over the past two years they'd been pushed to the back of my mind.  They're resurfacing.  This scares me because I literally have no free time to put effort towards another ministry.  Right now I'm praying that God would open doors in HIS timing for it.  I feel like God is slowly pulling my heart in the direction of ministry.  This might be in a church.  It might be among artists. It might be in a business venture.  I'm not really sure what it is going to turn into.  But I'm excited.

It's time to let my heart dream.

It's time to let my heart's dreams glorify the Lord.

It's time to constantly glorify the Lord.

Windows are turning into doors.

I'm done with undergrad in May.  THIS May. Remember a blog post or two ago when I said it was two years? I think it was something along the lines of, "I have two years left in this town for sure.  I mean, I can't really say for sure because we all know how God can change anything in an instant." Yeah. I said that.  Well, literally a couple hours after I wrote that I had this overwhelming sense that I needed to just let go of all my fears tied into not graduating early.  Aka I was suddenly emailing everyone I could think of who would get me the overrides and such that I needed. The whole time I was just praying that God would open the doors if they were meant to be opened. The doors literally flew open.

I don't think I really expected it.  I had been hearing, "no" and "it's not possible" for so long that I had kind of given up on it.  But everyone has been super supportive. Part of me is just wondering what next year looks like. But the other main part of me is so excited to just do this next school year diligently. I pray I still make the time to focus on learning more about God's Truth by studying His Word-aka the Bible! I'm also curious to look deeper into what the Bible says about being a disciple.

Really this next year can be represented by a few words: patience, diligence, strength, striving, hope, and most importantly, courage.  I feel like this past season of rest and internal processing has led up to this.  I just want to grow, grow, GROW! In every area. I'm so excited. I'm so ready.

Maybe in time, I'll know what I'm doing when I graduate.  But for now, THIS is the moment I'm supposed to be living in.  All glory be to God.

Soli Deo Gloria

May 8th, 2012

I wrote this on May 8th, but never actually posted it.

My college campus at dusk is quite the beautiful sight.  I have this love for architecture and gorgeous lighting, so when they are combined, it’s just great.  I’m in the library on the fourth floor overlooking part of campus.  The way light changes throughout the day is breathtaking. 

I feel like this semester has been very different than any of the other nine semesters of college I’ve experienced.  God has done a lot in my life:  A lot of healing and self discovery.  Growth in who I am as a person.  A relationship that has taught me more about what it means to follow Christ and have a life centered on Him.  A more solidified belonging at my church.  A better sense of community that I have had yet to experience in my own hometown.  I strongly believe that God has been slowly changing my heart in a lot of areas of life.  I never expected to enjoy living here.  I never expected to be at peace about so much.  But I also know that no matter what happens next, God has a purpose for it in my life. 

This is one of the first semesters that I feel like I’ve actually cared about my classes and tried really hard to do my best work.  (I’m not counting my semester in Colorado.  That is a semester all in its own.)  I’m paying all this money for an education-I want to walk away with a fantastic design portfolio and beautiful artwork actually worth hanging on my wall.  This newfound attempt at doing really well hasn’t come easy though.  It has been a total transformation from where I was my freshman year.  Seeing how far God has brought me in so many areas of my life gives me hope that He will continue to transform me into someone more like Jesus.

I feel like I’m at a point in life where God could take me anywhere at any moment.  Well, any moment after I graduate.  I don’t know what that looks like, and I’m not sure when I’ll have an answer for it, but I do know that whatever happens, no matter how I feel, there will be an awesome purpose in it.  An awesome purpose based on how I’ve been shaped so far, and how I’ll continue being shaped.  Yes please.  Spring semester 2012, thank you for your lessons.

More life updates, lessons, prasies, etc. coming soon. :)

Where is YOUR Heart?

Time for an interactive blog post!

Answer these questions:
1. Who and What am I living for?
2. Where do I find purpose?
3. Whose kingdom are you living in?
4. What makes you get up in the morning?
5. What is your highest goal?
6. If God’s eyes was to move through this place looking for a man/woman whose heart was fully His, would His eyes rest on you?

These are hard questions.  I keep asking myself these questions over and over.  Kind of like a reality check as to where my heart is.  Perspective.

A Self Interview

The Lord has been teaching me a lot lately.  There it is.  That statement that barely begins to encompass everything that is going on in my heart, head, mind, soul, life, etc.  The list goes on.  Common questions in my life lately: how are you, are you ready for school to start again, what are you wanting to do with your life, what's new, etc.  Common questions that should be easy to answer, but questions that really leave me standing there with a blank stare on my face wondering how do I answer this in the quickest, best, and most understandable way possible.  There isn't an easy answer to any of these questions in my life right now.  Let me start by saying this: I am extremely blessed and joyful about my life.  Not just this moment right now, but my life in general.  This summer I've really been learning a lot about what it means to be satisfied and content.  It's been an interesting process to say the least.  I see patterns in the lessons the Lord has taught me in the past 5 years.  I really do think the biggest part of my journey in my faith began when I went to college.  Situations that revealed to me where my heart was really at, and how ugly it really was.  God has been stretching, healing, teaching, growing, mending, saving, challenging, humbling, leading, and mainly caring for my heart.  He will do the same for you.  Just ask.

I'm thinking out loud here.  Well, thinking out loud in the sense of just typing out whatever comes to mind in the moment.  I feel silly doing this but hey, it's my blog and I make the rules.  I'm interviewing myself.  I'm a weird lady sometimes.  I'm okay with that!

Self: Bri, how are you? 

Bri: Well self, I am doing pretty well! 

Self: No, but really, how are you? 

Bri: I'm doing GREAT.  I've had to let go of a lot of ideas of who I am, and a lot of things that were holding me back from really seeing my life for what it is.  I'm learning what it means to be a disciple of Jesus, how to live that out in a more meaningful and glorifying way to God, as well as learning who I really am in Christ. 

Self: Woah. 

Bri: I know right? Try explaining that to someone who doesn't share my beliefs. 

Self: Isn't that the point? 

Bri: Yesssssss. 

Self: So Bri, are you ready for school to start again? 

Bri: Meh. I mean it's nice to have an actual schedule, but it's also nice to only really have one thing to work on. 

Self: Expand on that. 

Bri: Well...working full time, doing side projects, doing stuff with church, AND school is kind of taxing.  But I have a slightly different perspective this semester.  I was so drained in many previous semesters, and I think that's mainly because I kept trying to do things on my own.  It's amazing to see my life through the eyes of the Bible though.  If I look at my life through the Word of God, it's so much better.  My life isn't for me.  My life is for GOD.  My life is meant to glorify the Lord.  My life is meant to be lived like Jesus did, and my life is meant to show people the glory and power of the Holy Spirit.  I mean, it's still a huge challenge to die to myself daily, hourly, and pretty much every minute.  It's hard.  But it get's easier.  The more I focus on the Lord, the less I notice the weariness that comes from doing things in my own strength.  John 3:30, self!! "He must become greater; I must become less."  Really that's one of the main verses I'm focusing on right now!  It's crazy.  I love it.  But it makes me such a huge internal processor and somewhat of a hermit.  Which is weird.  But I think I'll get out of that phase soon. 

Self: ummmmm. 

Bri: Yeah, I know it's a lot and most of it doesn't really make that much sense.  I told you.  It's crazy.  Aka I feel like I'm on a crazy awesome adventure in my faith.  Like, I'm on this obstacle course high above the ground and God keeps asking, do you TRUST me.  I have to be like, YES LORD I TRUST YOU WITH EVERYTHING.  Some days I don't.  Those days are awful.  At the end of those days I'm like, shoot Lord, why didn't I trust you.  It's my selfishness.  It's my awful pride.  It's my sinful nature. 

Self: How does this relate to school. 

Bri: School is just another part of my life that is a part of this season I'm in.  And it's not my main focus.  God is.  So everything flows through that.  At least I want everything to flow through that.  God. 

Self: Okay.  So...what are you wanting to do with your life? 

Bri: You sound hesitant in asking me that. 

Self: I mean... 

Bri: Short answer: I have NO idea.  God has taken me on this extremely unexpected and unpredictable journey the past 5 years. 

Self: Long answer then. 

Bri: I would LOVE to work at a church doing design, communications, worship arts, something.  I see myself in ministry.  I see myself married to a man in ministry.  But I might marry a doctor.  I might marry a circus performer.  I might not get married.  But like I said, I see myself in ministry.  When my teachers talk about "the real world" in the design community, I cringe.  If I end up doing that, I know that God has a beautiful purpose in me being at an ad agency or at a design company.  But really.  I cringe.  It scares me.  Which probably means I'll end up there.  God is funny like that.  I adore His sense of humor.  At first, I did really hate it, but the sooner I learned to laugh with God and learn from the lesson, the more I enjoyed it.  The more I adored God.  It's a process.  But really.  I have no idea.  I guess what I really want to do with my life is live out the second of my favorite verses: Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come."  Really I'm not worried.  I have two years left in this town for sure.  I mean, I can't really say for sure because we all know how God can change anything in an instant.  But really, I want to finish my degree.  I'm six classes away.  Two years away.  Then after that?  Only God knows.  And to me, that is SO exciting.  Scary, but exciting. 

Self: So, what's new. 

Bri: Everything.  God is amazing.  Beyond anything I ever expected.  Everyday I learn something new.

End of thinking out loud.  If you read that, I applaud you.  Pray for me.  Share how I can pray for YOU.  I would love to.