was dead. now alive.

"You can have all your bones in order, and have tendons and have skin and look pretty normal and still be completely dead. You can have appearance of everything being all put together and still be completely dead. You can be sitting in a church or a campus ministry or Passion 2013, and say, look everythings kinda together and God says yeah everything is kinda together but there is no BREATH in there...it's that missing life." -L.Giglio

Taking a homework break. Listening to another sermon. I don't know what's going on in my heart. I started watching a tv show and got annoyed so I turned it off. Every time I read my Bible or pray, I get more excited about what the Lord has for me. I'm currently listening to one of the main session talks from Passion2013. Yessss. "Raised to Life by the Breath of a Living God."

Louie is talking on Ezekiel 37:1-14, The Valley of Dry Bones. I'm pretty sure I've never read this story, and if I did-I completely missed it.

This sermon made me think of the song Bones by Hillsong. Listen to the whole song. It's one of my favorites-to listen to and lead during music worship. I especially love this line.

"Breathe in me Your life till Your love overtakes me,
Open up my eyes let me see You more clearly,
Falling on my knees till I love like you love, like you love me, I love you.
Oh Jesus, Alive in me."

One of the biggest prayers I have in life is to learn to love in even a fraction of the way that God does.

Back to the message and my thoughts on it.

"The idea is that you go at God's disposal, its not that you go here or there or there and that's what makes you someone in motion for God, the idea is that wherever your motion is taking you, you know in your heart, 'I am here at God's disposal.'" -LG

How many years did I have the look of having everything together? Part of the reason I have this blog is to be authentic and honest with what God is teaching me. I love looking back at lessons and being like, "Oh yeah! That was something really cool to learn. It was such a hard time but God totally brought beauty from it!"

Changing. I can feel my heart changing. I was once dead, and now I'm alive forevermore-I love Jesus.

We have scars in our life...and God uses them for His glory, as part of the story of how he HEALED us. Accepting Christ and His death on the Cross is an act of surrendering your life to God. We aren't perfect, we'll never be perfect, but Jesus is perfect. Sometimes our witness is how God has healed us of something. The healing power of Jesus!

This has to be one of the most scattered blogs ever. So many thoughts in my head and on my heart.

So many.

"Our message is we were dead, now we're alive. Our identity we were not, now we are. Our witness is our healed and healing wounds. Our freedom is for freedom." -LG

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. 

Galatians 5:1

I believe I was freed so the Lord could use me to set others free. I'm not ashamed of that. I want to fully know the life and power of Jesus. I want to stand for Jesus. Always and forever.

It's not about me. It's about Jesus.

Ephesians 6:19

"God isn't limited by walls, by job titles." -Louie Giglio

I've been making chili and cutting up veggies for the past couple hours. But while I've been doing this, I've been listening to some of the messages from Passion 2012. Shoot. Broken again. Francis Chan was talking about us needing to read our Bibles. Like, REALLY read our Bibles. Reading it, following it, trusting it, living it, etc. It's supposed to be our lives. Jesus came to the world and save us and then he sent us into the dark world. Then Christine Caine was speaking on human trafficking. Ah. Her story. Of her life and now how she's recognized the importance of seeing numbers as humans and not as just a number. How there are 27million people trapped in slavery today. That is a ridiculous amount. 27 million. Shoot.

They talked about how it's inevitable that we'll die (hello 1 in 1 people do) and our purpose isn't to reach the end in our life living comfortably. The goal isn't to have made it safely. Psh I don't want that to be my goal! I want to be fearless for the gospel. I want to be bold. I want to be known for loving Jesus. There is so much going on that we can do something about. As a Christian, we are called to love others. Not just our friends and family, but everyone. The broken, the sad, the disabled, the lonely, the widowed, the poor, the orphaned, etc. Wow.

Now I'm not remembering who said it.....but here is my thought: I need to be praying that God would show me the path to glorify Him through everything-to show me how to use the talents, gifts, and passions that He gave me to make a difference in Jesus's name. In the name of Jesus. Serving the Lord. That's what I want my life to be. Always. Forever.

Pray for me. So much to pray through myself. Praying for others, for my life, for the chance to make a difference daily-no matter how small or large. Praying this verse:

Ephesians 6:19-20 "...for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak."

I don't think I'll sleep well tonight.

found this on tumblr....somewhere....

The first of the last.

[Church lately? Church has been flat out awesome. We're doing a series on discipleship. Thoughts to come.]

Tomorrow is the first day of my last semester of college. Say what? I was so exhausted earlier and now I can't sleep because I'm such a mix of things. Excited. Nervous. You name it.

The first day of your last semester is almost worse than your actual first day of college.

It is worse.

In August of 2007 I knew I had four years of school ahead of me-well, six-and I knew what I wanted to do. Now, January of 2013...I have four months left...and then it is over.

I'm so excited.

I could move anywhere and I could do pretty much anything I'm interested in.

The possibilities are endless. At least that is how it feels.

I've pretty much already blogged all my thoughts on this the other day.

But I want to look back on this post and see that there was hope and excitement in my heart.

Bring it.

Readiness

Whenever I listen to sermons by Louie Giglio, he describes my generation as "The Jesus Generation." What. That's a crazy statement. BUT IT MAKES ME SO EXCITED.

I'm so ready for this semester. I spent the day cleaning, finishing projects, organizing, etc. But mainly I was listening to worship music and praying about the next four months.

The next four months will determine a lot for me. I want to continue building friendships. I want to continue living my life in a way that looks different. I would also like to figure out what the heck I'm doing after May 11th. But hey, with time.

What I'm most excited about is just being more real with my faith. I'm so over this caring what people think thing. I'm ready to have real conversations, ask deeper questions, etc. I'm tired of just knowing the surface-ness of people and what they did over the weekend. I want to know what their families are like, what makes up their dreams, and who they really are.

Amping up the authenticity. Building community. John 3:30, "He must become greater, I must become less."

I wrote this blog as a call to prayer. I need prayer so much. (Everyone needs it.) But please if you think of it pray for me in these areas this semester.

1. Direction.
2. Focus. Not only on my studies but more importantly, on the Lord.
3. Time for devotionals.
4. Boldness.
5. Wisdom.

Thank you to everyone in advance for your prayers. I covet it. Leave comments with how I can pray for you, or email/facebook me. :)

Banana Pancakes.

Confession time. I love Pinterest. ::GASP:: Yes. I love it.

I've always been obsessed with color and interior decorating. But now my horizons have been furthered with recipes, more decorating ideas, organization tips, natural beauty secrets, wedding things (another dream of mine is to be a wedding designer-aka I design the look of the wedding-expecially the tablescapes and alter area) and many many more.

Notice I mentioned recipies. Below is my attempt at making a recipe that Taralynn posted and I eventually pinned.

I'm going to go into this with a few disclaimers:
1. I've been eating gluten free since August (with a few minor exceptions that involve family traditions.)
2. I'm not the best cook. So anything that went wrong I'm making assumptions about.
3. I haven't photographed anything in awhile so the pictures are...not my best. :)
4. I adapted the recipe. Which might be my first mistake.

So. I saw this and became really excited. A flourless pancake?! Yes please! A use for the old brown bananas?! Yes please! So here we go.

First. Put on a cute apron. (My mom got this one for me for Christmas!)

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Side note. Favorite flower of the moment. Thanks mom :)

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Ingredients! I used two farm-fresh eggs, two ripe bananas, some defrosted berries, a few chocolate chips, and a Tablespoon of flax seed.

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I find that coffee goes well with anything! First mash the banana, and then add the egg/flax seed mixture. Mash it all together until it is smooth-ish.

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Grease your pan! I quickly learned that I do not like using olive oil spray. But then you should be able to cook it like a pancake.

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Flip...like I said this wasn't the most pretty of food executions. Above is why I didn't like the olive oil.

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Then I switched to butter!!!!! I love butter. It flipped easier. Still fell apart. I honestly should have made smaller pancakes. Seriously. Impossible to flip. Maybe upon further experiments it'll get better. Just be okay with having ugly pancakes and you'll be fine. :)

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The finished product! I drizzled honey on top. Delicious. 

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Okay so here are things that might have factored into my not cute pancakes. I added flax seed. The bananas were super ripe. I wonder if using less ripe ones would be better? The pan was also not super hot when I started. I kind of want to try this but in a baked form. Cook it for a few minutes on the stove and then throw it in the hot oven for a few minutes. Might be great! I also might try two eggs and only one banana. And some toasted sliced almonds. And sprinkled cinnamon on top.

I have to say, this was a great way to get protein and fruit. I thought it was quite tasty and I would love to try it with other fruits!

In trial, in life.

I love my church. I love how the scriptures are taught clearly every week. I love the community and fellowship that takes place. I've been going to Harvest over the past year–and I have to say–it has been quite the blessing in my life.

This past Sunday was a message I needed to hear–mainly the part about what God is asking of us. The whole message was called, "God With Us: In Trials." Click to listen for yourself! Listen Here!!

I wanted to unpack one section of the message.

3 Things I Know God is Asking of Us in Trial:
1. Turn to the Lord (Psalm 56:1-2)
2. Feed on His Word (Psalm 56:3-4)
3. Walk in Fellowship with Other Believers (Galations 6:2)

What I got out of it: First of all–I want this to be my life daily. I daily want to be seeking the Lord through prayer, scripture, and fellowship. Not every single day of my life will include that. I know this by looking at my track record. But, I do think it is something worthwhile to pray for.

[I have heard the more you do something, the quicker it becomes a habit.]

"Be gracious to me, O God, for man tramples on me; all day long an attacker oppresses me; my enemies trample on me all day long, for many attack me proudly. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?  "  Psalm 56:1-4

READ that scripture. Read it. I keep reading it. It applies to so many areas of life. Are you stressed about work? Give it to the Lord!! Is school getting you down? Give it to the Lord! Is a friendship/relationship letting you down? Give it to the Lord!!! We shall not fear the things of this world. God is for us! Also: read your Bible! [I know everyone says this, but seriously, it's important. I keep realizing this more and more in my life how important it is. I wish I was more serious about it, and I wish I had been more serious about it sooner. But hey, you learn from your past.]

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galations 6:2

I used my handy iPhone ESV app to look up references for this verse. Look them up if you want! Just click on the links. :D

Romans 15:1, 1 Thess 5:14, Galations 5:14, 1 John 4:21, and John 13:34. 

Basically this: LOVE each other, lean on each other, let people lean on you! But always–put Christ at the center and ask for His strength and wisdom.

Wow. Hodge podge blog post. It's been awhile.
I want to blog more about what I learned during the study Nancy Leigh Demoss wrote called, "Seeking Him: Experiencing the Joy of Personal Revival."

:)

empty.

I have this struggle right now.

The semester just ended. I suddenly have loads of free time–minus the having a job thing–and I just feel empty.

This past semester has literally been one of the most difficult I've had school wise. My classes were challenging, being a "young designer" was challenging, and the never ending load of homework was challenging.

Towards the end of the semester I just started being consumed by the homework. Consumed. I was skipping Bible study and neglecting things just to finish my homework.  Now I'm at the end of the semester, with only one more ahead of me. And I just feel empty.

In this moment it's as if all this work I'm doing is just for a grade, for a piece of paper, for the credibility.

Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for man."

Am I doing that?

It doesn't feel like it.

I need a perspective change and a heart change. I need rest in the Lord. I need to seek the Joy that only comes from knowing Him.

I'm tired. I'm weary. I'm exhausted. I'm vulnerable. Yet Jesus says this in Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

The Lord will not forsake me. Moses speaks these words to Israel in Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."

So many beautiful and amazing promises in Scripture.

Time to stop, and rest.