Clear.

Declutter.

Organize.

Simplify.

Are we chasing an idea of balance and margin? Are we finally growing tired of the busyness and overcommitments that rule our so called free time?

What would it look like to start from a blank slate? How would we actually feel if we lost all our worldly possessions?

I'm learning how little they matter. I'm learning how valuable time is. I'm learning that spending money on food to cook for my friends is more precious than that new "it" item at Target.

Are we so consumed by social media and the lives of others that we have forgotten to be authentic?

I'm looking into the future. If I keep going at the rate I have been, I'll never have the time I crave to spend with my family, friends, and most importantly: the time to spend with my Creator.

What if we all pressed pause? What if we evaluated what really matters in life? What if we realigned our momentary lives to reflect our beliefs? What if we slowed down?

Rest.

Reflect.

Realign.

A Milestone Pep Talk

Let me be honest. When I decided I wanted to get a Bachelors degree in Graphic Design, I did not know what I was getting myself into. Actually, when I decided it was going to be my major, I only knew one or two people who actually had jobs doing it.

Side note. I always loved the invitations, brochures, promotional material, etc., that my church would have. I knew someone made that stuff, and my senior year of high school, I decided I wanted to be that person. Fast forward 6.5 years, and now I am that person.

Until my senior year of high school, I wanted to be an architect or interior designer. I took drafting classes, I made up pretend houses with awesome secret passages, and I would rearrange my room constantly. Yet, I'm so thankful I changed my mind.

Looking back, I always loved design. For example:
-I always kept beautiful promotional materials, invitations, etc.
-I always studied the way magazines laid out information.
-I instantly noticed when a magazine or publication would do a design overhaul, (even though I didn't really know what that meant.)
-I would critique the logos of businesses. Chick-fil-a still has the one of the best in my opinion.
-I LOVED making homemade cards.

The list goes on and on. Now I find myself loving it more and more: the combination of strategically solving problems while making it creatively compelling. After years of classes, projects, countless sleepless nights, working multiple jobs to make it through school, tears, internships, achievements, and my first real job–I can finally say I'm a professional in the field.

I never thought I would make it to this point.

This post is a reminder for myself. A reminder of how I feel at this specific milestone. A reminder of my love for learning more about this field. A reminder of the goals I have to further explore and create. A reminder to not give up. A reminder to keep going.

reflect.

The sun is setting over the snow covered midwest picturesque view.
Candles are lit, flowers in a deep blue vase, I'm sipping wine.

Deep reflection and processing and internal review are taking place.
Big moments in life, hard work, sanctification, blessings, struggle.

Last year I would have never expected to be where I am sitting now.
Desiring simplicity, wanting to be a maker, missing the mountains.

Culture says to aim for wealth and comfort and fame and pride.
I want less of myself, more of the Lord, time to create, time to hide.

What if we all stopped running this western race view of dreams.
Move back to community, back to family dinners, back to humility.

I know what I want in this life.
Not riches or things or collections.
I want Jesus Christ magnified.

pride

Over the years, I've witnessed a lot of pride. Pride in others, but mainly pride in myself.

Here's the thing about pride. It destroys.

But God is greater, and I love the submission of admitting my pride and humbling myself before Him.

Sometimes that pride sneaks back up, and then others point it out to me.

Christian community at its finest.

Yes please.

8 Things

I feel like so often I stumble across articles of how godly men should act. So it was super refreshing to read this one.

8 Things that Reveal a Woman's Character

a song

I feel like this song, among many, really captures my prayers for my life at the moment.

Here's My Heart  <<<<< listen to the lovely.

Fallow Ground

I can’t really keep track of how many times I’ve ended up in tears on the train. It isn’t this cascade of water pouring out of my eyes–it is these little moments of little tears that come from me recognizing something I haven’t realized. It’s me being broken in some way by the book or passage I’m reading in that moment.

Graduating college was not what I expected. It would have helped if I had actually expected something. I didn’t find that necessary due to past lessons in life that have just made me face each day as they come. It’s over. It’s a six year chapter in my life that is finished. One afternoon I realized that I wasn’t just graduating from NIU–I was finishing a six year endeavor that had taken me to four different schools, in three different states. This endeavor I never thought was going to end, in the best way possible. But it’s over. Suddenly I’m in the “real world.”

My sister is a wife now. So is one of my best friends. Another dear woman in my life is now a mother. I’m done with college. This all happened in May. April was a month that did not seem like it would end, thanks to the roughest couple of weeks I’d ever had in college. Pretty sure I burst into legit tears every few days. But then again, I took way too many design classes at once. Through God’s strength and the encouragement of others, I finished. Then May happened. Birthdays, weddings, babies, graduation, accepting an internship, quitting my coffee dream job. Now June is almost passed. This new season I thought would be one of rest and reflection. In some ways it is.

During my 3.5-4 hour daily commute, I suddenly have all this down time on my hands that I haven’t experienced since...childhood...scary. In the mornings I spend time in God’s word. Then I get to the afternoon. Suddenly my brain is my worst enemy. This isn’t a season of rest. This is a season of deep reflection that God is using to tear apart my heart. Tear it apart. Not for my own purposes, but for His. Which brings me back to getting tears on the train.

I’ve been a Christian since I was in fifth grade. As in: I accepted that Jesus died for my sins on the cross and I wanted to live my life for Him. Over time, I’ve begun to gradually understand bits and pieces of what it really means. My college season was a huge growing time in my faith. Because it didn’t go how I expected, or even how I wanted for that matter, I really had to look at my life and who I was living it for. Even now. 

Lately God has been chipping away at the part of my heart that is still hard towards others. The people I don’t understand, the people who aren’t like me, the people who stand on the streets in Chicago asking for money, the people who are in prison, the people looking so lonely. One of my life verses is from John 3:30, “He must become greater; I must become less.” But what does that really mean for my life? It means sacrificial love and grace towards me from God, and then a sacrificial life on my part to glorify God through all I do. Following His commands, even the difficult ones. Then a tear forms in the corner of my eye. And it’s a beautiful tear. It’s not from hurt or anger. It’s from joy that only comes from being broken by God.

It’s a season of God breaking up the fallow ground of my heart.